This is my future home. An Island where the only thing there is a tree, sand, and the ocean. That's all I need. No stress around, no work, no life drama, and certainly no sadness. There is loneliness there I see but that is something I have been dealing with my whole life so this will be nothing new. I am certain to have birds flying by that I can talk to...oh I would definitely bring my dog. Little Dino. He is a pain in the ass no doubt but he is my buddy and just wants to have fun. Ahhhh.....as fantastical as it sounds I would go insane rather quickly. You see, I need people. Sad to say but yes.....I need interaction. So....ex nay on the island.
Visiting with my parents here in Florida and heading home today. It was a short visit of one day but honestly that is the best option for everyone involved! Its kind of nice being treated like a princess from your dad. A 42 year old princess. Awww....cute. I feel like I am 5 again. His baby girl. He thinks I work too hard!!!! Ha!!! Apple does not fall far from his tree that is for sure....he is the hardest worker in the world in my eyes. My mom too. Even though we often don't see eye to eye I have great respect for my mother as well. I see proudness in my dad though...I think he is actually proud of me! With that feeling in my heart I am glad I stopped in to see them. Its cute actually to see my mom and dad so happy. Growing up it was a different story but life for them today is pretty good. I know their heart breaks over my sister being gone too soon and my dad told me today he dreams of her daily.....I wish I could take that pain away but I share the same pain.....yet I finally see happiness in both their eyes. Love. They love each other very much. My dad also said I never told him I loved him. Odd because I tell my kids I love them constantly and when I was married told my ex daily as well. I had to remind my dad that I grew up never having those words said to me....yet I do love him. I love him dearly and told him several times on this visit.
Saying those words mean so much to people...they have always meant a lot to me. I made sure I told my kids constantly because I never heard those words when I was growing up. I always kiss my kids, tell them I love them, hug them, talk with them openly, and assure them that my love will always be there no matter what. It was critical when I got married that I shared that with my spouse...kisses, i love yous, and sharing of emotions. When all that went away....my marriage died. Oh well...one door closes another one opens. I am happy to see my parents sharing such a wonderful and sincere love. I wish I saw more of it growing up but then again.....those were different times. Hard times. Working 18 hour shift times.
I will die without my kids love so I hope as they go off into the sunset and live their own lives that they continue to tell ME that they love me...and pass that love along with whom ever they share their life with and their children.
Happy Trails....
~E
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